-it’s just in, Tom hiddleston and Rober Downey jr got raped by some of their fans
and we’ll be like “we already saw that coming.”
I am officially writing/compiling the Texts From Bennett novel! It will be 99% new texts and several very hilarious, epic, stories about my Cousin Bennett. And a few surprises too!
Gallery Books / Simon&Schuster Publishing! 2013!
DO FUCKING WANT
- *Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
- *Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
- *Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
- *A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
- *Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
- *Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer